King of the Looney Tunes No Buster Left Behind
by isaac.nimmo
Summary: It's the yearly standardized test and Principal Rodney Rabbit convinces a group of students including Buster to convince Cecile Turtle that they're Special Needs exempting them from the test, Bugs is outraged when Buster is placed in Special Needs but when they cause a scene at a field trip, Principal Rodney Rabbit realizes that everyone has to take the test and preps them to.


[T.X Houston Middle School Miss Flamiel classroom Bugs Bunny, Lola Bunny, Buster Bunny and Babs Bunny are sitting at a desk across from Miss Flamiel whom is with Principal Rodney Rabbit]

MISS FLAMIEL

Okay, Bugs and Lola Bunny, just give me one second to find Buster's test.

[Miss Flamiel flips through the math tests]

MISS FLAMIEL (CONT'D)

Excellent, great work. satisfactory, needs improvement. Unsatisfactory. Yes, here's Buster Bunny's.

BUGS BUNNY

"D-"? Dang it, Buster. I expect more from someone with extracurricular activities.

BUSTER BUNNY

I'm sorry, Bugsy I tried my best, Math is my softest area at least it's passing grade.

LOLA BUNNY

I told you Bum-Bum, we should have let him watch Sesame Street.

BUGS BUNNY

Don't blame me, Buster was terrified of puppets to where he'd blast the TV with his laser pistol, too bad that didn't stick.

BUSTER BUNNY

So, I guess it's not my fault?

MISS FLAMIEL

Or mine, maybe Buster's just a bad test taker, some kids have trouble handling the stress of testing situations, Yakko, Wakko and Dot have their zany factor makeing them bad test takers.

BUGS BUNNY

This is ridiculou, Buster's flunking out, and you're just making excuses, just like President Obama is makeing excuses on terrorism Rodney aren't you gonna say something, you're the principal of this school and my childhood friend?

RODNEY RABBIT

Hmm? Oh, sorry, Bugs, I wasn't listening Uh, I'm mainly here for backup, with with Buster Bunny open carrying his laser pistol exercising his right to carry, you would not believe how quickly these parent/teacher conferences can turn violent.

[Bug's house Bugs Bunny, Lola Bunny Buster Bunny and Lola Bunny are all at the table]

LOLA BUNNY

Bugs, I do not know how you can eat when Buster is so close to the edge.

BUGS BUNNY

He'll be fine. He just needs to work harder and apply himself.

BUSTER BUNNY

Yeah, about that. I was thinking that maybe we shouldn't dismiss this "bad test taker" thing so quickly.

BUGS BUNNY

Buster, no more excuses. The only thing that's wrong with you is that you let yourself fall down a couple grades and that's gonna change right now.

LOLA BUNNY

And I will be your instrument of change. I will tutor you and flash-card you until you rock climb your way up to a "B+."

BUSTER BUNNY

Letter grades are so high school. Why can't we just go back to the gold star/smiley face system?

BUGS BUNNY

The same reason we won't let you sleep with your laser gun right by your side.

BUSTER BUNNY

But I'm still afraid of monsters under my bed and what about Witch Lea…

LOLA BUNNY

...Zah Yip.

BUSTER BUNNY

Oh.

[T.X Houston Middle School teacher's lounge Rodney Rabbit is chuckling with Miss Flamiel]

RODNEY RABBIT

I'm looking forward to meetin' Montana Max's parents to talk about a mega donor deal; I'll forward the email to you but better wait till you get home before you open said email.

[Rodney Rabbit looks at the school faculty consisting of Foghorn Leghorn, Marvin Martian, Sylvester Cat, Wile E Coyote, Pepe Le Pew, Emma Granny Webster, Patricia Bunny, Elmer Fudd, Yosemite Sam and Tweety Bird, Walter Bunny is also there as an advisor of the school board]

WALTER BUNNY

Rodney, the school board's got a problem, a "No Child Left Behind" problem.

RODNEY RABBIT

Walter, tell the school board and the PTA that we haven't left behind a child at T.X Houston Middle School, since the No Child Left Behind Act was in signed into law by George W. Bush himself. Hell, we pass everybody, tell that to Presdent Obama, and presdent elect Trump.

WALTER BUNNY

Rodney, the federal and state government doesn't care if your kids pass their classes, that's the PTA's worries, the federal and state government most likely the state government just cares if your kids pass the yearly standardized test, which they haven't done since Obama was elected on 2009.

RODNEY RABBIT

Oh, is that what that law's about?

[Walter Bunny sputters]

WALTER BUNNY

Have you even read the manual?

RODNEY RABBIT

Well, to tell you the truth Walter, I got a few pages into it, but it's no Candy Crush Saga or Candy Crush Soda Saga and-and then the Candy Crush Jelly Saga came out, and well, I played that while I was listening to an audio book on the new Harry Potter and..

WALTER BUNNY

Damn it, Rodney. That test is in six weeks and you haven't done squat to prepare for it.

[Rodney Rabbit looks in shock]

WALTER BUNNY (CONT'D)

Now, if your kids fail this again, the state of Texas and the feds can come in and fire all of you.

[the factually members and Looney Tune staff are shocked as well]

WALTER BUNNY (CONT'D)

And Rodney, I imagine the first head on the chopping block's going to be the principal's, who's a childhood friend if Bugs Bunny who's a freakin Looney Tune.

[Rodney Rabbit gulps then we cut to the commons Ralph T. Guard is seen at the door while students and faculty members enters Yakko, Wakko and Dot are seen standing on the stage armed with Stormtwooper blasters and land the microphone feedback squeals as Rodney Rabbit takes the microphone and Yakko Wakko and Dot hops off stage and takes seats next to Buster Bunny, Babs Bunny, Plucky Duck, Hamton J. Pig and Babs Bunny]

RODNEY RABBIT

Okay, kids, I need everyone to listen up real got a very important standardized test coming y'all don't pass it, me, your teachers and your Looney Toon mentors could be out of a job.

AUDIENCE

Yes! Good. We hate you guys!

[everyone laughs except for Buster Bunny, Babs Bunny, Plucky Duck, Hamton J. Pig, Yakko, Wakko and Dot ]

RODNEY RABBIT

Let's see how you feel after T.X Houston gettin' shut down and y'all are shipped to other schools. Maybe some of you; most likely the 1.0% to 1.9% of pupils will get lucky and end up in New Luxe, Houston, Texas but most of you; the 99% of pupils will be finishing out your year in Perfecto Prep.

[everyone gasps Buster Bunny and Plucky Duck looks at each other then looks at Yakko, Wakko and Dot then we cut to the gym, Buster Bunny, Plucky Duck, Roderick Rat, Danford Drake, Margot Mallard, Yakko, Wakko and Dot are in the gym as well as Pinkey and the Brain Elmyra Duff is seen stretching with Montana Max and Skippy Squirrel is seen on the rope Foghorn Leghorn enters in with Marvin Martian and is seen pushing a portable rack holding footballs and medicine balls]

FOGHORN LEGHORN

Okay, students let's circle up! Today, the only muscle you'll be stretching is your brain, no offense.

THE BRAIN

None taken.

BUSTER BUNNY

What happened to kickball, Foghorn Leghorn?

FOGHORN LEGHORN

Gone, over, eliminated! Effective immediately, all classes, including gym, will be teaching math, reading, writing and science, to help prepare you for the Texas State Standardized Test.

MARVIN MARTIAN

Let's start off with a science question. Ok, Dot if you were to fire a laser gun at a glass window would it reflect.

DOT WARNER

That or it'll melt the glass.

MARVIN MARTIAN

Well, yes it can also melt the glass, Dottie.

DOT WARNER

That's what I just said, Marvin, and you call me Dottie and you'll die.

[Marvin Martian glups in fear and Dot Warner pulls out her laser pistol]

DOT WARNER

By disintegration.

FOGHORN LEGHORN

I'll answer the next question, Marvin.

[Marvin Martian looks at Foghorn Leghorn]

FOGHORN LEGHORN (CONT'D)

Okay, Roderick! I've got a five-pound football in this hand and a ten-pound medicine ball in this hand, If you were to multiply the weightage of both balls together, what would you get?

RODERICK RAT

I pass.

FOGHORN LEGHORN

Oh, for...

[Foghorn Leghorn grones]

FOGHORN LEGHORN (CONT'D)

Wakko?

WAKKO WARNER

Can you use that in a sentence Foghorn Leghorn?

FOGHORN LEGHORN

What? I just did you blockhead Warner!

[Foghorn Leghorn throws a medicine ball at a trash can it gets knocked over and Marvin Martian takes out his laser gun]

MARVIN MARTIAN

Let me ask another science question now Roderick Rat, my laser gun uses a rechargeable ultra capacity energy cell that means I can fires a total of 10,000 laser bolts or 5,000 charged up laser bolts but my laser gun can also be used in a continuous normal beam or a continuous enhanced beam but for how many hours for the normal beam and how many hours for the enhanced beam?

RODERICK RAT

I pass.

MARVIN MARTIAN

Oh for, Wakko?

WAKKO WARNER

Can you use that in a sentence, Marvin Martian?

MARVIN MARTIAN

What? I just did you blockhead Warner, oh this makes me so angry!

[Marvin Martian turns his laser gun at a trash can and shoots it with his laser gun everyone including Skippy Squirrel are freaked out then we cut to T.X Dallas Middle School the sign below says "Standardized test in 4 weeks" then we cut to the teacher's lounge Rodney Rabbit is reading through the No Child Left Behind Manual as fast as he could Foghorn Leghorn snaps his pencil]

FOGHORN LEGHORN

Rodney, we're never gonna pass this test.

MARVIN MARTIAN

I'm taking Foghorn Leghorn's side because that dumb-dumb Wakko can't even do simple math.

FOGHORN LEGHORN

And Dot, Marvin Martian tries to teach her science and she just already knows the answer.

RODNEY RABBIT

Marvin, Foghorn, you're not the only one under some stress here, we're all freaking out.

MISS FLAMIEL

How about this? Uh, during the test, we could just move three smart kids around each dumb kid. We know they're gonna cheat on the test based on past instances of cheating.

SYLVESTER CAT

What if we plant some marijuana in some of the dumb kids' lockers?

MARVIN MARTIAN

That is the craziest idea I've head Sylvester, why not swipe the answer key from the Watergate complex, copy it and return it.

SYLVESTER CAT

Suffering Succotash Marvin, it'll end up like the Watergate Scandal because the anser key is in the Watergate complex and that if you were to swipe it cpy it and return it who'd gonna crack the case on who last touched it be you ware gloves.

[Marvin Martian shoots Sylvester Cat with his laser gun at him and hits him dead center and Rodney Rabbit puts his face on the manual then is joyed when he finds a solution]

RODNEY RABBIT

Wait. Think I might have found a technicality and you, Flamiel and Yakko, Wakko and Dot are key to this

[in a classroom Buster Bunny is seen with his laser pistol in his holster and storntwooper blaster on his back he moans as he tries to get his test correct then erases the wrong answer and it shows a holethen Yakko, Wakko and Dot walks in donning hall monitor costumes and thier laser pistols drawn out]

YAKKO WARNER

Buster Bunny, Principal Roney Rabbit; childhood friend of Bugs Bunny needs you right now.

DOT WARNER

And please don't make this difficult for us.

WAKKO WARNER

Our laser guns are set on stun mode.

[Buster Bunny gulps then we cut to the newly formed special ed room seen are Rodney Rabbit, Miss Flamiel, Foghorn Leghorn and Marvin Martian and the students already in are Plucky Duck, Roderick Rat, Danford Drake, Margot Mallard and Marcia Martian also seen are Pinkey and The Brain as the class pets Buster Bunny takes a seat and so is Yakko, Wakko and Dot]

RODNEY RABBIT

Okay kids, listen up. In a few minutes, Cecil Turtle from the district's gonna be here to evaluate whether you're a special needs student or not.

BUSTER BUNNY

Special needs? But I'm not special needs, Principal Rodney, take a look at Yakko, Wakko and Dot, see if their zany factor means that the three are deemed special needs.

RODNEY RABBIT

Well, Buster, I think you should let the expert decide.

MISS FLAMIEL

he's right, Rodney. Maybe he will pass the evaluation. Then, you can go back to your regular class and continue studying day and night for the standardized test, which you'll probably fail and all the Looney Tunes that you know will lose their jobs.

RODNEY RABBIT

Let me bottom-line this for you, kids. If you don't do so well on this evaluation that includes a zany test.

YAKKO WARNER

Now hold on we brought over some of the students that'll fail the standardized test and your putting us through a zany test in the evaluation we know that we'll fail the zany test.

WAKKO WARNER

That's discriminatory, Rodney.

DOT WARNER

Even you know that.

YAKKO WARNER

Did the Marx Brothers had to go through a drug test that deemed the TV stars with special needs.

RODNEY RABBIT

It means that if you fail the evaluation even if it's the zany test you're gonna be labeled and deemed a special needs student, which means you're no longer required to take the standardized test.

BUSTER BUNNY

Well, I guess if you call that progress but is that a Democrat thing...

RODNEY RABBIT

Oh, and did I mention you'd no longer have any homework.

BUSTER BUNNY

That sounds pretty good, but I still don't think I'm special Rodney I carry two laser guns my laser pistol, and a stormtwooper blaster.

RODNEY RABBIT

Oh and you also get to have lunch cooked by Luby's Canteen or Sugarfoot restaurant.

BUSTER BUNNY

Wait, does the restaurant come to us or it's delivered...

RODNEY RABBIT

And you get to go on the field trip to the Texas State Fair next week.

BUSTER BUNNY

But I thought that trip was only for the kids on the honor roll.

RODNEY RABBIT

Well, it would be an honor for the special needs kids to come along.

BUSTER BUNNY

You know what. I think you're right. I should let the expert decide.

YAKKO WARNER

Oh, we take back all that stuff we said about the zany test being discriminatory even if we're zany to the max and across the board.

[later Cecil Turtle had just arrived with Rodney Rabbit and Miss Flamiel]

CECIL TURTLE

Okay, students, Does this clown look sad or happy? Now, raise your hand if you think he's happy.

[everyone does not respond]

CECIL TURTLE (CONT'D)

Thank God I'm here. There's so much work to do.

MISS FLAMIEL

If you want, I can cover for you and we'll have Yakko, Wakko and Dot do half my job and all I have to do is just sleep through the day.

[Bugs' house living room, Buster Bunny is on the couch]

BUGS BUNNY

Okay, Buster, it's time to go over your algebra Lola Bunny left some flashcards to help you study.

BUSTER BUNNY

I don't have to study anymore.

BUGS BUNNY

Why is that?

BUSTER BUNNY

It's all explained here.

[Buster Bunny hands Bugs Bunny a letter and Bugs Bunny reads the letter

BUGS BUNNY

Special needs? What the hell?

BUSTER BUNNY

Now excuse me Bugsy, I have a special need for something coated in chocolate.

[Bugs house kitchen Bugs Bunny looks at the letter as Lola Bunny sits at the table]

BUGS BUNNY

No homework, no tests, extra benefits and accommodations. Why would they put him in that class? He doesn't have any learning problems.

LOLA BUNNY

Maybe this explains why he hates taking tests and why his grades are so bad. I swear to you now, Bum-Bum, I will love that boy no matter how special he is.

[Buster Bunny walks into the kitchen his fur, shirt and shorts are covered in chocolate]

LOLA BUNNY (CONT'D)

Oh, my sweet, sweet boy, look at you. You come here. Come give your mama a hug.

BUSTER BUNNY

Okay.

(Lola Bunny sobs):

LOLA BUNNY

Oh, you, just like a survivor 2016 Nice attack.

[Bugs Bunny is disapproved by this then we cut to T.X Houston Middle School the caption says "Standardized test in 2 ½ weeks" Rodney Rabbit had just exited the teachers only restroom holding a Surface Pro 4 and a Houston Chronicle newspaper then he sees Bugs Bunny who he looks back at Rodney Rabbit holding a mallet and he is frightened and runs off]

BUGS BUNNY

Rodney!

[Rodney Rabbit runs to a supply room and tries to open it but it's locked then he looks at a rack of ice cream guns and tries to take a ice cream gun but the rack is locked as well then he runs to the emergency exit door and goes through it and the door shuts and Bugs Bunny sighs]

BUGS BUNNY

Dang it.

[Bugs Bunny sees Rodney Rabbit running out onto the field]

BUGS BUNNY (CONT'D)

(to a student wearing a shirt that says "I Support The N.R.A")

Do you know where the, uh, special needs class is?

[Bugs Bunny is freaked out when he sees the door to the special needs room then we cut to the inside Cecil Turtle is seen teaching some of the kids to use magic wands and Miss Flamiel is seen sleeping at the desk and Yakko, Wakko and Dot are seen Roderick Rat is seen improving his motor skills]

YAKKO WARNER

Excellent, fine motor skills, Rodrick. You're the class champ of the morning.

Bugs Bunny

Excuse me Yakko, Bugs Bunny, Buster's father. Where's Cecil Turtle.

YAKKO WARNER

Cecil's teaching some of the kids on the history of turtles on the biblical side and non biblical side and Miss Flamiel is sleeping

[Yakko Warner turns to Miss Flamiel]

YAKKO WARNER

Miss Flamiel, some bunny wants to talks to you.

[Yakko Warner snaps his fingers then he takes a ruler and whacks it on the table so hard it breaks and Miss Flamiel wakes up and the whole class looks like Yakko Warner]

Miss Flamiel

Yes, Can I help you?

BUSTER BUNNY

Hey, Bugs.

Bugs Bunny

Uh, yeah, I'd like a word with you outside.

YAKKO WARNER

Class, you can rest your eyes, but sleepies are reserved for the beanbags. Flamiel will be right back if you have anything you would like to say to her do it now.

[out in the halls Miss Flamiel closes the door with Bugs Bunny]

Bugs Bunny

Miss Flamiel, Buster doesn't belong in your class. He was just put here so he wouldn't take the standardized test.

Miss Flamiel

Test? He he shouldn't be taking any standardized test, Bugs Bunny. Not until I can fully evaluate his condition, especially if he has a quote unquote "zany factor".

Bugs Bunny

There is no condition. That boy is about as normal as you or, well, as me.

Miss Flamiel

Sadly, 20 years ago in '96, you would have been right. Buster would have been labeled normal. Those truly were the dark ages of public education now in 2016, 30 years later, we're in the golden modern age of public education, hell we even weapon racks loaded with ice cream guns we kinda have to fill up the empty space.

Bugs Bunny

Let me ask you something. Have you ever found a kid or three kids who wasn't special?

Miss Flamiel

No, except the Warners but that was like back in the 90s.

Bugs Bunny

Miss Flamiel, I want Buster Bunny taken out of this ridiculous class immediately or I'm going to the district, or to the PTA meeting and telling Witch Lezah about this.

Miss Flamiel

Sorry Bugs, but me, Cecil, Yakko, Wakko and Dot are the district, and we're even if your in bed with Witch Lezah your Buster Bunny is staying until he gets the care he needs and until the standardized test is done.

[Miss Flamiel returns to the classroom]

Miss Flamiel (CONT'D)

Okay, we won't skip P.E. today because Wakko had became a certified printer repairman on the Internet and printed enough first-place certificates to go around.

WAKKO WARNER

ans I'm on my way on getting certified to repairing a copy machine.

[Bugs Bunny sighs Bugs' house Bugs Bunny is standing in the alley with Daffy Duck, Porky Pig and Elmer Fudd

BUGS BUNNY

That class is ridiculous. If the school's spending all their time and tax money on these kids, who's taking care of the kids who really need help?

ELMER FUDD

I was evawuated when I joined the FBI. The tests said I was "duww normaw.

DAFFY DUCK

I, for one, am relieved that Plucky has been labeled special needs 'cause that means it's not my . And Yep, not my fault.

[T.X Houston Middle School, Rodney Rabbit is with Yakko, Wakko and Dot]

RODNEY RABBIT

We got all of the "F"s, "D"s and "C"s accounted for, once we impeach of any possible wild cards, we'll be home free.

[Miss Flamiel looks into a classroom and sees Elmyra Duff staring up in the sky]

Miss Flamiel

Look, that kid is just staring into space as if our jobs weren't on the line.

RODNEY RABBIT

Well I don't know if I can just interupt the flow of the class that's going on.

YAKKO WARNER

We're on it Rodney.

[Yakko Warner opens the door and he, Wakko and Dot walks in and Yakko Warner puts his hand on his laser gun]

YAKKO WARNER

Come with us, Elmyra,

[Elmyra Duff grabs her books and Yakko Warner shoots it with his laser gun]

Elmyra Duff

Whoa.

YAKKO WARNER

I wasn't aiming for you, I was aiming at your books and you can leave your books behind, you're not gonna be needing them where you're going.

[Special Needs classroom Rodney Rabbit opens the door and Yakko, Wakko and Dot brings in three more students who are Elmyra Duff, Calamity Coyote and Furrball Cat then Yakko Warner closes the door]

BUSTER BUNNY

Hi, I'm Buster. Preliminary attention disorder and possibly dyslexic. We're still waiting on the test this is Plucky Duck, Articulation Disorder.

PLUCKY DUCK

I got it bad, Elmyra.

Elmyra Duff

I don't want to in be here. I was just daydreaming, that's not breaking the rules.

YAKKO WARNER

Look we're real sorry about your books, we all felt like you did at first, but then we saw the ice cream cart, and that warrants Wakko to say.

WAKKO WARNER

Faboo.

[Elmyra Duff gasps as we cut to the ice cream cart]

Elmyra Duff

Oh, Do they have fudgesicles and fruit flows?

BUSTER BUNNY

Every kind and they even have popsicles of every kind, sorted from most popular to least popular you have access to, and any time you need a break, you can ask for beanbag time, which is unlimited, and you can listen to music

YAKKO WARNER

Personally I'd go for Willie Nelson, he's from Texas.

WAKKO WARNER

Or Don Knotts, also from Texas

YAKKO WARNER

Whoa, Wakko, Don Knotts was born in West Virginia, and died in Los Angeles, California is and did I or didn't we forget to mention that we get to go to the Texas State Fair next week?

ELMYRA DUFF

Really?

RODERICK RAT

Yeah, so when you get evaluated, don't try to be a hero. Shoot for one right answer out of every four and you'll be just fine.

[Bugs' house, Buster Bunny walks in with a macaroni necklace]

BUSTER BUNNY

Look what I made in school for you, Lola.

LOLA BUNNY

Oh, Buster, you are my little miracle.

BUGS BUNNY

Lola, he was making those when he was four.

LOLA BUNNY

Ugh, that preschool was so demanding.

BUSTER BUNNY

Well, I've got to go practice my zipper song. I think I can master it before the Texas State Fair trip.

[Buster Bunny starts singing]

BUSTER BUNNY (CONT'D)

Down when you tinkle up when you're done

BUGS BUNNY

Wait a second, Buster. I thought only the good students were allowed to go on that trip.

LOLA BUNNY

Bum-Bum, the school did not want to discriminate against the special-needs kids, so they're letting them go, and I think it was the right decision.

BUSTER BUNNY

Now, where was I? Oh, yeah. Congratulations you've made a number one.

[Texas State Fair a bus pulls up and the door opens then inside Wakko Warner and Roderick Rat are seen running across the screen as we pan to Doctor Otto Von Scratchnsniff, Patricia Bunny and Marvin Martian with Babs Bunny, Rubella Rat, Sherly Loon, Fifi La Fume, Fowlmouth, Johnny Pew, Jayden Beaver and Jack Rabbit, Marvin has a trigonometry book while Patricia Bunny is seen carrying several books including National Geographic History and a IPad]

MARVIN MARTIAN

Okay, Rubella, the logarithm to the base three of nine is?

Rubella Rat

Uh, three?

MARVIN MARTIAN

, not even close, Back of the line, Who's next?

Sherly Loon

Two?

MARVIN MARTIAN

Of course it's good, Sherly. Here's your Fast your can tell Rubella all about it. Next!

[at a log flume ride Daffy Duck is the "chaperon" for the Special-ed kids who are Buster Bunny, Plucky Duck, Roderick Rat, Danford Drake, Margot Mallard, Elmyra Duff, Calamity Coyote, Marcia Martian, Frank Duck, Ollie Duck, Furrball, Yakko, Wakko, Dot and Dizzy Devil]

DAFFY DUCK

Feel free to wet splash at the bottom will cover your shame.

ELMRYA DUFF

Daffy's so cool.I don't know why my parents hate him.

[Clamity Cyote, Roderick Rat, Danford Drake, Marcia Martian, Elmyra Duff and Daffy Duck , proceeds to get in the log flum and Buster Bunnyas well as the rest tris to get on]

RIDE OPERATOR

Whoa, there's a six-person maximum on this ride. Park rule.

PLUCKY DUCK

But, but Marcia's on that ride.

Elmyra Duff

Oh, that's totally a make-out ride, and you can't leave her alone with Rodrick.

Frank Duck

Quick Buster, do something.

Ollie Duck

Doing nothing is highly illogical.

Buster BUnny

Excuse me, sir. We are special needs children and we are required by the state law of Texas to stay with our buddies at all times, 12:00 AM to 12:00 PM.

RIDE OPERATOR

Uh, okay, go ahead.

PLUCKY DUCK

How'd you do that, Buster.

BUSTER BUNNY

It's Texas state law Plucky, and Texas state law overrides park rules.

[Buster Bunny, Plucky Duck, Margot Mallard, Frank Duck and Ollie Duck, Furrball, Yakko, Wakko and Dot gets on the log flume and the operator activates the ride Daffy Duck scopes some water

DAFFY DUCK

It has begun!

[Danford Drake stands on the log flume and begins to "flume surf" while Buster Bunny, Plucky Duck, Roderick Rat, Margot Mallard, Elmyra Duff, Calamity Coyote, Marcia Martian, Frank Duck, Ollie Duck, Furrball, Yakko, Wakko, Dot and Dizzy Devil watch on]

DANFORD DRAKE

Look at me, I'm flume surfing.

MARCIA MARTIAN

That is so cool, Plucky-o.

PLUCKY DUCK

I can do it too, Marcia.

[one by one everyone begins to flume surf then Buster Bunny is the last one to engage in flume surfing then we cut to a security room a park guard is playing cards with Leslie Flower Boy clearly not paying attention then we cut back to the log flume ride everyone except for Daffy Duck is flume surfing

DAFFY DUCK

We are approaching the bottomless pit drop. Everyone, brace yourselves.

[everybody ignores Daffy's warning and they all start tipping Danforth Drake falls off and gets Buster Bunny wet and Marcia Martian tries to help him up but he pulls on her then lets go she screams as she goes into the water taking Plucky Duck and Dizzy Devil along then Plucky Duck grabs Roderick Rat and pulls him down taking Buster Bunny along with him, who he also takes Wakko and Dot Warner then they two grab onto Yakko Warner's shoulders and pulls him down and Calamity Coyote and Furrball are the last ones to fall off as well as the unlucky one as they fall in front of the flume and slide and Daffy Duck)

DAFFY DUCK

Wingo!

[the log flume hits both Calamity Coyote and Furrball and everyone who was watching is shocked]

MARVIN MARTIAN

Daffy, where's your dumb kids except for Calamity and Furrball?

PATRICIA BUNNY

Oh, my God, the special-needs kids! They're in the water!

[everyone gasps as this was going to involve more casualties as Buster Bunny, Plucky Duck, Roderick Rat, Margot Mallard, Elmyra Duff, Marcia Martian, Frank Duck, Ollie Duck, Dizzy Devil, Yakko, Wakko and Dot slide down and thanks to Plucky Duck slips backwards and trips on DIzzy Devil who he gets tripped on and creates a waterspout taking everyone and everyone lands in the water and all of them sides down and are yelling playfully]

ELMER FUDD

What awe de speciaw-needs kids doing hewe widout any supewvision? Who wet dis happen?

YOSEMITE SAM

Whoever it was,they're going to pay for this.

[Rodney Rabbit who had just bought a cotton candy machine and a soda machine hears this and walks off then we cut to Bugs' House, Buster Bunny and Plucky Duck are on the couch, Yakko is on another part of the couch also the table had been moved for an air mattress that Wakko and Dot Warner are both on Lola Bunny puts a temperature monitor in Buster BUnny's mouth]

BUSTER BUNNY

Lola, I'm fine, really.

YAKKO WARNER

Me too.

WAKKO WARNER

I'm faboo fine.

LOLA BUNNY

I cannot believe they let this happen to you and your friends Buster, Somebody will pay for this.

BUGS BUNNY

Buster shouldn't have been on that trip to begin with, Lola and if anything, this is his fault, he's the one who made that guy jam fourteen kids on the log flume.

LOLA BUNNY

Oh, lay off him, Bum Bum. He might not know what fourteen is.

YAKKO WARNER

Um, my age is fourteen Lola.

[then temprature moniter beeps then we cut to the TV]

TINA RUSSO

(over television)

Tina Russo, reporting to you live from the Texas State Fair where earlier today; disaster struck at the El Aserradero log flume ride when two special-needs children got hit by a log flume followed by a group of special-needs children getting caught in a Dizzy Devil made waterspout and falling on their heads, your thoughts Patricia.

PATRICIA BUNNY

(over television)

I just don't know why these special ed kids were even on this trip. I didn't see a qualified chaperone, none of them were wearing protective head gear and none of them were even candidates for the honor role.

ELMER FUDD

(over television)

And I know de pwincipaw knew aww about it, too.

TINA RUSSO

(over television)

Excuse me Wolf Blitzer, we have just received exclusive photos of the disaster. Let's go right to it.

[we cut to a picture Daffy Duck is the only one in the log flume then Bugs BUnny switches off the TV then we cut to the school then sing says "Standardized Test in 2 ½ weeks We care about your future"]

WALTER BUNNY

You done it this time Rodney. The school board is under fire from the PTA. I wish I could take the heat for you but I can't,you need to resign.

RODNEY RABBIT

But Walter, I've been a principal half my life. I'm not qualified to do anything else.

WALTER BUNNY

What were you even thinking, Rodney? You know you're not supposed to take the special-needs kids off campus, let alone to an amusement park, without district approval.

RODNEY RABBIT

Look, Walter, those kids are no more special than you and me. They were never in any danger. I-I just put 'em in that class so we could pass the standardized test.

WALTER BUNNY

You what, without even telling me I'll make sure the school board and the PTA hears about this so that they can at least propally form an impeachment trial.

[Walter Bunny storms out of the office]

RODNEY RABBIT

This is still America, right? The land of second chances?

[Bugs Bunny walks in]

RODNEY RABBIT

Bugs, thank God my childhood friend you're here. You gotta help me.

BUGS BUNNY

Help you? Kicking your ass with a mallet seems more appropriate, Rodney.

RODNEY RABBIT

Look, I'm just going to come clean here, Bugs childhood friend to childhood friend. I just labeled those kids special needs so they wouldn't take the test.

BUGS BUNNY

Of course you did.

RODNEY RABBIT

I'm really stuck here Bugs. I don't have anyone to take the blame. Yakko, Wakko and Dot are all too young to take the fall and everybody thinks Daffy Duck's a special-needs kid, this is like Bill Clinton's impeachment.

BUGS BUNNY

You have to let those kids take the standardized test. If they pass, it'll prove they're not special; they're just a bunch of kids acting like jackasses, and that you didn't do anything wrong a-at that moment.

RODNEY RABBIT

But those kids will never pass that test.

BUGS BUNNY

All they need is to be pushed a little, Rodney, that's all they ever needed.

RODNEY RABBIT

I guess we can try educating 'em.

[Montage, "We're The Kids of America by Kim Wilde" plays as we cut to the sing; it says "Standardized test in 14 days"']

Singers

Bright lights, the music gets faster.

[then in the special ed room Rodney Rabbit hands Buster Bunny, Roderick Rat and Wakko Warner advanced algebra books, Buster Bunny gets to work almost immediately as for Roderick Rat and Wakko Warner they are confused ]

Singers

Look, boy, don't check on your watch Not another glance

[we go to the honors class where we see Babs Bunny, Rubella Rat, Sherly Loon, Fifi La Fume, Fowlmouth, Johnny Pew, Jayden Beaver and Jack Rabbit, Marvin Martian is seen teaching a advanced trigonometry lesson the Rodney Rabbit comes in and grabs Marvin Martian's arm and he is yanked out of class dropping his piece of chalk everyone looks at each other

Singers

I'm not leaving now, honey, not a chance

we cut back to the special ed room Buster Bunny as already hard at work while Roderick Rat is still at the table of contents and Wakko Warner looks at the book sideways then Rodney Rabbit opens the door and, Marvin Martian, Patricia Bunny and Slappy Squirrel]

Singers

Hotshot, give me no problems Much later, baby, you'll be saying never mind

[then we cut to Marvin Martain writing a algebra problem and Buster Bunny comes up and writs the answer then we cut to the canteen Jayden Beaver is seen reading a book while sipping a Cherry until Fifi La Fume swipes the book from Jayden Beaver's hands and sits next to Fowlmouth then Buster Bunny is seen with Marvin Martian, Patricia Bunny and Slappy Squirrel, Slappy Squirrel points out Buster Bunny's mistake and Buster Bunny erases the mistake and corrects it then we cut to a lab Marvin Martian demonstrates laser physics with his laser gun and some mirrors then we cut to a very complicated algebra trigonometry problem and Buster Bunny solves it and Slappy Squirrel checks it, and it's correct and the whole staff cheers then we cut to Rodney Rabbit and the kids they walk down the hallway and face the room of the Standardized Test]

Singers

You know life is cruel, life is never kind Kind hearts don't make a new story Kind hearts don't grab any glory We're the kids in America Whoa-oh We're the kids in America Whoa-oh Everybody lives for the music-go-round La-da-da-da-da-da-da La-da-da-da- da-da-da a' Say! We're the kids in America Whoa-oh We're the kids in America

RODNEY RABBIT

Alright, kids, it's test time. You worked real hard this on the days prior to test day, and I'm proud of you.I have every confidence that you'll knock that test out of the park today. Now, go get 'em!

(The kids enters with Plucky Duck entering last; then cut to T.X Houston Middle School the school bell rings)

BUGS BUNNY

Well, I give you credit, son. You worked hard and it paid off.

LOLA BUNNY

Well, I knew all along he was going to pass. I guess our boy is special after all.

BUSTER BUNNY

I'll see you later and please Lola Bunny, stop using that word.

BUGS BUNNY

Well, it's a shame the school failed again. I heard the math scores actually went down from last year.

Well, I guess you cannot blame Wakko Warner or the district for shaking things up. We're lucky they didn't shut the whole school down.

[whistle blows as we cut to Foghorn Leghorn]

BUGS BUNNY

Yeah, but I don't know how great of an interim principal Walter Bunny is going to be.

FOGHORN LEGHORN

Study up today, maggots.

LOLA BUNNY

I wonder what's going to happen to Principal Rodney.

BUGS BUNNY

Well, he'll pull through. You know Rodney. He's a survivor, the best of the best in summer camp .

(Rodney Rabbit runs in front of Bugs Bunny's Ford F-450 and he slams the breaks almost hitting him)

BUGS BUNNY

Good Lord, Rodney, I almost hit you.

RODNEY RABBIT

Sorry about that, Bugs It's just that we got a new product everyone at the company's real excited about and I didn't want you and yours or your girlfriend to miss out on it.

BUGS BUNNY

You're selling steaks?

RODNEY RABBIT

Not really These things sell themselves. Take a look at this beauty.

[Rodney Rabbit hands Bugs Bunny a J-bone]

LOLA BUNNY

Hmm. I never heard of a J-bone.

RODNEY RABBIT

Help a brother out, guys. I need to keep my medical current until my suspension's over I got that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.

[Rodney Rabbit whimpers Bugs Bunny sighs]

BUGS BUNNY

Uh, put us down for five, I guess.

[Rodney Rabbit who is pleased writes it down ans Bugs Bunny drives off with Rodney Rabbit out of the way but he stops another car with the same maneuver

RODNEY RABBIT

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!


End file.
